Free Seats

While working in theatre, I've been both a Box office manager and a House manager. Both jobs always entailed an infinite amount of herding, getting talked down to by upper-crust suburbanites, and resolving problems that are results of patrons simply not listening to the directions they're being given. It's not an easy job, nor is it a high-paying job, but there is a certain amount of satisfaction you get from doing it well.

Last night, I got to see the other side of the ticket booth.

The wife and I had a friend of a friend obtain us tickets for Jerry Springer, The Opera. We were excited to see the show, but were unfortunately made a bit ill by the awful food at the 1409 Playbill Restaurant. We had shown up early to pick up our tickets, when we found out we didn't have actual tickets at all. We had what they called "Passes." If there were seats available close to showtime, we'd get seated. Unfortunately, this was not really what happened. I'll allow my wife to explain it better:

. Apparently over at the Studio, the box office has final say into what type of comps people get. We got there early and were given the first two numbers for standby seating passes. The show sold out, so they couldn't seat us and could only offer us standing room. They also gave the exact same numbers to another couple for standby, and were overbooked for SRO by about 20 people. The house manager when faced with this situation then decided to herd the crowd into the at capacity theater which started a frenzy with people waving thier SRO passes and numbers around and shouting like assholes. The situation devolved into who could be the loudest or most desperate, (both having worked in box offices, we knew it was time to skedaddle before the Upper Bethesdans bust out their smart phones to take down names of staff members and give the poor beleaguered box office staff a piece of their minds.)

At the theatre I worked at full-time several years ago, we did something almost entirely similar, except we executed it entirely differently.

We had what was called "Complimentary Standing Room" or "CSR's."Essentially what it meant was that you would get to the theatre 30-45 minutes prior to the showtime, give your name at the box office and you'd then get in a line. The only people who got this were usually employees, former employees, friends of employees and people from other theatres.

CSR's would be seated in the order in which they arrived! (novel concept, right?) Anyone remaining would be taken into the theatre and stand in the back until the first seating break where they would stick anyone left in seats. Very rarely would anyone ever have to stand for an entire show. On the rare event that happened, we would likely give them another night to do CSR.

But in last night's case, the box office paid us lip service and didn't really give us any real explanation to why this type of thing happened nor an offer to try again for another night. I clearly stated that if they can't accommodate the comp that they had offered the person we got the tickets from, then they should've contacted them to say so - not let their friends show up and not get seated. It's an insult to that person and creates bad blood between theatre companies.

The Studio theatre has garnered a reputation within the DC theatre scene and on a professional level, it's rarely been good. Their Artistic Director, Joy Zinoman has bullied and bludgeoned a pathway to what many believe is artistic excellence. Certainly the theatre has gotten rave reviews for so many plays, but the horror stories that make their way out of their offices is staggering. It's been said that no one has truly become part of the Studio family until Joy Zinoman has made them cry and want to kill themselves. That certainly might be an exaggeration, but the verbal abuse stories are hard to ignore if they come from enough sources.

Frankly, I don't care about her vision or her artistic reputation as someone who's worked in the industry. Her attitude sucks and anyone can tell you that a leader's demeanor sets the demeanor for the entire company. The Box Office Staff was indifferent and the House Manager incompetant.

Now, one might point out that our tickets were free, so why should we complain?

The answer to that is simple: When I worked for the same theatre mentioned above, we did a free reading of a play and we ended up overbooking it. Worse of all, some of the reservations were somehow lost electronically, so it created a whole scenario which made us look incredibly incompetant as a Box Office and as a theatre administration. We fielded complaint calls the next day. At one point, I pointed out that it was a free reading and that there was nothing I could quite do. The gentleman responded very rationally and calmly, "Just because the tickets were free doesn't devalue the service we expect from an institution such as yours. You offered something to the public and failed to deliver." I couldn't help but tell him how unbelievably right he was. I agreed with him not just as a theatre professional, but as a consumer as well.

Our society has devalued free things saying, "You get what you pay for." But in our country, schools are free, libraries are free and many other things are free to use as we see fit as citizens. The quality of schools can be bad, but we expect them to be excellent (often they are). The concept of "free" is not carte blanche to dismiss goodwill, good service and competance for otherwise.

I'm very disappointed with the Studio Theatre right now and hope that their box office decides to inform people if they don't intend to honor complimentary tickets with actual seats. Unfortunately, given their leader's propensity towards dismissing criticism as hampering her artistic vision, I don't expect a whole lot.

Lesser Members

Occurred: 02/05/08

One of the downfalls to working in non-profit membership associations are the people who don't really pull their weight in membership dues, yet expect the whole enchilada of member benefits, consideration, and respect. Student members of many organizations are a primary example as their dues are usually very cheap, but their benefits are limited as well. However, I don't know one membership representative who hasn't come across a student member with a huge sense of entitlement, wishing to milk everything they can out of the association just because they think they can.

One of the places I've worked was a Plaintiffs' Bar Association. We had student members, but they were nothing compared to the Paralegal Members.

We had a Paralegal Member in the organization who was a real troublemaker. She was an independent paralegal which means she worked on contract for more than one firm doing possibly several types of work. All paralegal members must have attorney sponsors at all times to confirm eligibility since it was a Plaintiffs' Bar Association. Most of our Paralegals were employed directly by their sponsoring attorneys, so there's never much of a question of their eligibility.

But this specific independent Paralegal member had an improper sponsor who was not currently licensed to practice law and was dropped from membership. She acquired a new attorney sponsor, but it turned out he wasn't qualified to sponsor her either. Finally, she found one that was willing to sponsor her and we called it a day. Of course, this includes her screaming on the phone and being 100% unprofessional.

Two weeks later, we got about 10 complaints from members on our message boards saying that the same paralegal member was misusing the boards in an egregious manner by copying her consulting company on every message. Her consulting company then used this information to call our members without permission and do sales pitches to them. This was obviously not allowed due to the fact that much of the discussions on the boards are privileged but also for the fact that using our message boards for solicitation is all kinds of messed up and wrong. Despite the severity of the infraction, she was given a warning the first time. A week later, she does it again and gets kicked off our message boards for what was supposed to be permanently. Afterwards, her sponsor revoked his affiliation with her, and she was booted from membership. We were given instructions (which I agreed with wholeheartedly) that even if she were to acquire a new sponsor, that she is never to be a member again. She has caused numerous problems and cost us hours of our time for a membership that only costs $75.00 annually. The last we dealt with her was back in May of 2007.

I looked in our web applications one day the next February, to find an application from the same woman with a brand-new sponsor. The interesting thing to note is that it came the day after our Winter Convention ended. I looked into the matter further...

Apparently, our board members discussed the matter of this paralegal at the meeting and decided that if she had a proper sponsor, she could be a member again, regardless of the way she handled the situation, treated the people in Membership trying to enforce the rules, and regardless of the fact that she violated our rules not once, but twice. Worst yet, they said that once she's reinstated, she can use our message boards again.

What What What???!!!

It was obvious that she was just going to abuse them again and I'd have about 10 mouthy paralegals complaining to me. I had far better things to do with my time than listen to a bunch of insignificant paralegal members complain. They barely contribute anything to the organization, but try to insert themselves deep within the politics of it all as power players. One paralegal, who has been abusive, over-demanding and broken several rules in the past hasn't been booted from the membership simply because she made political connections within the association.

Which lead me to conclude that's exactly what happened. The hapless paralegal who was originally kicked out probably sucked enough c***, proverbial or otherwise, and got people on our board to fight for her membership. My job position, in theory, gave me power to approve or deny memberships. But whenever the members step in and our board tells me otherwise, I get really pissed off, as it essentially usurps the power I was given. These board members aren't present in our office and they don't know what we deal with every day. Half the time they don't seem to give a crap about our rules or bylaws, despite the fact that as members of the board, they've sworn to uphold them. The behavior that I witnessed from this woman warranted us to bar her forever from membership. If she were an actual attorney, I would recommend referring her to the ethics committee. But regulation for paralegals is scarce at best in most states, despite various certification agencies.

If it had been up to me, I would've banned all "independent" paralegals from joining the association. I rarely ever had any issues with any paralegal who was directly working for a law firm. The independents make it hard to verify eligibility and give you the most grief when you even call it into question. They act as if it's some major injustice that has to be fought.

As I consider going to law school, one of the major cons I think might be having to hire paralegals and not getting the type that I want.

A Waste

Occurred: October 10th, 2004

I used to work in the Sales Office in a Non-Profit Regional Theatre in Washington, DC. These types of theatres rely on two main forms of income: ticket sales/subscriptions and contributions. The subscribers are the bread and butter as they tend to both buy tickets and make contributions.

It was a typical day winding down towards the evening when I get a call from an executive secretary regarding her boss coming to a show. Apparently, he had missed a performance and wanted to come see the show that weekend. Unfortunately, it was completely sold out.

The subscriber policy for our theatre at the time dictated that a subscriber can change their performance attending date as many times as they like as long as they do it 24 hours in advance. This subscriber's date had already passed a week prior. The secretary didn't understand the concept that once the date has passed the reserved tickets were forfeited. Our policies in our subscriber guides were always very clear.

The subscriber still had an opportunity to see the show on a standby basis. Essentially, he would come one hour prior to the show, get in line with other subscribers who missed their show, and he'd get seated with anything that was available. It worked best on weeknights, but it was still possible to get seated on Saturdays.

After explaining all these policies, the secretary says our rules are "perposterous."

I then asked her if she or her boss read all the information we sent about exchange policies and the process. She said yes.

If she knew the policies, why did I have to explain them. If she knew the policies, why would the rules be considered "perposterous?" The conversation with the secretary ends there.

The subscriber phones us himself. Apparently he's a CEO of a small, but "successful" company and doesn't believe that he should get the same kind of treatment as regular folk. I informed him that his secretary made a mistake and neglected to exchange his tickets beforehand. He then said, "My secretary doesn't make mistakes." He then began to curse at me saying over and over that he's a CEO.

Then he gave me a jaw-dropper... He offered me $500 personally to give him "special consideration."

Setting aside any ethical considerations, I want to know how that would work logistically. Would he hand over $500.00 cash to me a the box office when he came to the show in a non-descript envelope or would he use the bags with the $ sign on them? And what system is there to honor that bribe? He could just come to the show, pick up his tickets and refuse to give me my "tribute." Getting back to reality, I gave him an alternative which was to become a low-level donor on top of being a subscriber (which might give him access to house seats). His response floored me...

"Donating money to arts organizations is a waste."

I had dealt with plenty of irate subscribers, crotchety blue-haired ladies and the occasional bitchy soccer mom, but I don't think I had ever heard a statement so derogatory towards something as valuable as the arts in general. At this point, I handed him to a boss as I was no longer going to deal with this yahoo.

My amazement lies in his indignance and his sense of entitlement, as if being a business owner or CEO is some kind of diplomatic immunity. Rest assured that in a future job, I'd be dealing with yahoos like him on a daily basis, but not in an arts-capacity. There is a large contingent of people, at least in this country, that have managed to acquire a great amount of power and wealth and are some of the most abrasive, self-absorbed people on the planet.

Surprisingly enough, the subscriber bit the bullet and called our Development office, donated the money and got house seats. He proved certainly that the right amount of money can get you virtually anything you want in life, which is a lesson that I'd like to keep my children from learning, though it happens to be somewhat true.

Thankfully, I left that job before I had to deal with him again.